How to feel good about yourself?

It happens to all of us to feel bad about ourselves and to know moments of doubt or insecurity. Because ? Social expectations, incessant comparisons and the injunction to happiness strongly impact our self-esteem. It is therefore essential to get to know ourselves, to cultivate our well-being at our own pace and to show kindness to ourselves. We take stock with Nathalie Garnier and Guillaume Losserand, clinical psychologists.

Being “good about yourself” is an expression used to describe a state of balance between our physical well-being and our psychological well-being. This echoes the definition of the World Health Organization (WHO), which considers that health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. In other words, the fact of being good or bad about yourself is not only related to our weightto our morphology or to our hair colorbut also with our self-esteem, our self-confidence and the benevolence we show towards ourselves.

As our experts say, “being good about yourself” has a different meaning for each of us. “We all have our own definition based on our values, our goals and our individual preferences,” says Nathalie Garnier. And it’s important to identify the factors that help us feel good:

• to be in a good health ;
• to accept and love each other with our qualities and our imperfections;
• know manage stress, anxiety and his emotions in a healthy way;
• to have self-confidencein his decisions and in his ability to face the challenges of life and the remarks of others;
• know recognize its valueto feel worthy of love, respect and able to achieve their goals ;
• be fulfilled personally and/or professionally ;
• be satisfied with his bodybeing able to wear the clothes you want, not being limited to everyday life;
• etc

As stated above, we all have our ups and downs – no matter how old we are! The feeling of discomfort can be linked to physiological, emotional, psychological or social factors:

• low self-esteemwhich can lead to a feeling of insecurity, doubt and low self-esteem.
• A tendency to compare oneself too much to others“particularly through social networks that distort and idealize reality,” recalls Nathalie Garnier.
• A difficult life testsuch as the loss of a loved one, the end of a romantic or friendly relationship, financial or professional problems, etc.
• Too much social pressure concerning physical appearance, professional success, family life, etc., which nourishes a form of guilt (one is afraid of disappointing others).
• Pervasive depression or anxietywhich can alter self-perception.
• body dysmorphophobiawhich leads to excessive preoccupation with some imagined or minor “defect” in one’s physical appearance.
• A trauma or difficult past experience which has left emotional scars and fuels a sense of inferiority.
• body modifications related to an accident, sudden weight gain or old age, which can affect self-confidence and general well-being.
• The absence or lack of support and relationships of trust with loved ones.

According to books, videos and personal development conferences, it is essential to work actively every day for your well-being. On paper, the intention is good, but in reality, it also represents overwhelming pressure, which sometimes turns out to be counterproductive… Injunctions to happiness can promote unrealistic standards and stigmatize those who do not conform to them. By emphasizing individual responsibility, they can also promote a form of individualism and obsessive quest…

“Very often, patients who say they feel bad about themselves no longer inhabit their body. The first step is therefore to help them become aware of their bodies,” answers Guillaume Losserand. And to continue: To feel better about yourself, you must first see how badly you feel about yourself.. This is perhaps the most difficult stage, but this is how we can bounce back”. Then comes the time to identify the factors that are holding us back so that we can take action in the most appropriate way!

The first piece of advice for feeling better about yourself is obviously to accept yourself as you are, with your qualities and your faults, without worrying about the way others look. No one is perfect, so practice self-compassion: be kind to yourself and stop constantly criticizing yourself. Your body and personality deserve respect!

A few sessions of introspection will allow you to become aware of the negative thoughts that you formulate regularly against your body, your personality or your achievements. Learn to question them and turn them into positive affirmations. Little by little, you will modify your internal dialogue and strengthen your self-esteem.

Modesty should not prevent you from capitalizing on your skills, strengths and talents. Focus on these positive aspects of yourself, rather than your weaknesses, and do not hesitate tocompliment you Thus, you will develop greater confidence in your abilities.

It is often easier to focus on the negative… To refocus on the positive, take the time to write down what you are grateful for in your life each day. Getting your thoughts out and putting them on paper will help you see things differently.

To feel good about yourself, pamper yourself ! Take care of your skin, your nails, your hair, wear makeup if it makes you feel more confident. Treat yourself to a massage session or a shopping spree.

Also consider adopting a healthy lifestyle : give yourself some pleasures as part of a balanced diet, practice regular physical activity (not necessarily an endurance sport, a daily walking session is enough to get moving), spend some time in contact with nature, learn to manage your stress and watch your sleep, advises Guillaume Losserand. Thus, you will take care of your physical and mental well-being.

The social environment in which we evolve has a considerable impact on our self-esteem. surround yourself positive, encouraging, inspiring and caring people who support you in your projects and give you emotional support. Run away from toxic people who drain all your energy and undermine your successes.

We can never repeat it enough, comparing ourselves to others is natural, but completely harmful to our self-esteem. We all have our own morphology, our own genetics, our own journey, our own wounds and our own challengesso focus on yourself, rather than trying to compare the incomparable!

To spice up your daily life, try new activities that will allow you to dare, to flourish and to develop your self-confidence. By realizing that you have stepped out of your comfort zone and achieved a satisfactory result, you will inevitably be more confident. However, make sure your goals are realistic and achievable!

Success is often team work !

Know that the road to better self-esteem can be long. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time you need to grow and evolve!