Who has never thought of retrying the adventure with a former lover or a former lover? So here we go, we summarize for you the good reasons to do it, and also all the bad ones! All you have to do is choose the best one for you…

Getting back in a relationship with someone you have been with can have several advantages.

On a first date, or at the start of a relationship, we try to show ourselves in our best light, to give a perfect image, to make a good impression, even if it means disguising yourself a little or lying to yourself a lot. And then, at first, we don’t understand each other well, we don’t know how to talk to each other and understand each other… It takes a lot of energy and investment even though we’re not sure it’s worth it. sadness.

A simple meeting turns into a real mission where we improvise complicated seduction stratagems: “and how do I dress? Where do we meet ? Rather a drink or a restaurant? “. The questions never end! Whilein case of reconquest, the job has already been done : we know our common points, our problems, our behaviors, our little quirks and habits… The other knows us at our worst, and that’s good. Bye-bye protocol and proprieties. Hello simplicity!

We know it, the first time is often not the best. Not to mention that one is never very comfortable in unfamiliar territory. Whereas if we have already visited the country that is the other, we know better the geography, the climates, the zones prone to tremors, and this is not negligible in terms of sex. I let you continue the metaphor on your own, with this pretty quote from the film as a lullaby The English Patient : “ our bodies are the real continents. » Bye-bye frustration, hello orgasm!

At least now we know what to expect! It has flaws, of course, but we know them well., and the road traveled so far has taught us to deal with it, even to understand what went wrong. Bye-bye disappointments, hello construction!

On the contrary, getting back together with your ex can have certain disadvantages.

We may be against the consumer society in general, when it comes to our romantic relationships, we tend to look for something new! In the event of a reconquest, unfortunately, there are fewer surprises, we know the character. And then we don’t win anything, we don’t discover another person. Hello humdrum, bye-bye spirits!

Well, let’s be honest! When it didn’t work, there’s often a reason. If nothing has changed, there is no way the relationship has moved on. Hence the interest, here, of making the distinction between a relationship that ended in a sausage knot, for not much, and which strangely offers some hope, with a breakup that follows deep disputes , to a total loss of desire, or even to a real feeling of impasse, which does not bode well for the future.

It’s sometimes nostalgia or pride that drives us to want to try the experience again. In which case we prevent ourselves from living the present moment and projecting ourselves into the future, because during this time, we are not elsewhere, we are physically and/or mentally monopolized. Hello illusions, bye-bye evolution.

If we go back to our ex only because it is the one who is there, it may not do us any good. Ditto if we go back there, when the other doesn’t love us/more. In both cases, boom! Self-esteem, self-esteem but also that of the other take a hit. If it doesn’t work and you go back to it anyway, a tad masochistic, it’s obviously not very pleasing for the ego… Hello passionate suffering, bye-bye lightness!

Conclusion: three everywhere, draw. A predictable outcome: everything has the defects of its qualities, the reconquest is no exception. That said, it’s up to everyone, according to their personal history and their needs, to see what weighs more in the balance: fluidity-simplicity-complicity, or novelty-lightness-evolution.

Before making your decision, ask yourself about the situation and think about the causes of your separation : were you happy with this person? Was your story healthy or toxic? Have circumstances changed so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past? In what state of mind are you today? Do you think this relationship deserves a second chance? Are you able to put your bad memories aside?

However, the main objective is to make sure to protect yourself if you still have feelings for her or for him, and conversely to protect him/her if you no longer feel any.